my mother fails to realize what the point of a cell phone is

SHE NEVER PICKS IT UP WHEN I TRY TO CALL
AND WHEN I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO HER IT PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF

MOM PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR GODDAMN PHONE 

scribblenauts:

so i got high last night, and i didn;t put my laundry away

and i swear to god i lost a pair of pants

but i can’t remember anything

so earlier my wrist was really red and it was just in a concentrated spot

and i just noticed i have  bruise there and i rubbed it and it’s p goddamn sore and there’s little  marks next to it 

pls tell me how i get these things

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im watching that brony documentary 

oh god it’s so painful

so painful

glamour-parade:

How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you

got paid,

hope my cover shows up tomorrow,

my weekend starts now B)